Wii as Media Extender

Turn your Wii into a media extender with Red Kawa's Wii Media Center X.

List of features straight from Red Kawa:

"Features

Videos - Wii Media Center X lets you stream and watch videos in the Flash video format (FLV) on your Wii. You can download flash videos from many places on the internet or create your own using Wii Video 9.

Music - Wii Media Center X lets you playback MP3s on your Wii without the need of an SD card.

Pictures - Red Kawa Media Center lets you view pictures on your Wii without the need of an SD card.

Files - Wii Media Center X lets you browse your files located on your server."

[via Codename Revolution]

Kevin Smith Talks Video Games and Silent Bob Sprites

There is no Jay and Silent Bob video game in the works. Sorry, hate to break up with you before the first date and all, but, yeah, no game is planned – I’m just a tease. But Kev (we call each other that late night on the phone) is open to suggestions…

It’s no secret that K Smith loves comic books (he’s written a new renaissance with his rework of Daredevil), but the man also loves himself some games with the videos too. His favorite type? “Scrolling games.”

Wait… Is that even a subgenre? Is there a Scrolling section at my local electronics store that I’ve been missing? I don’t want to beat the man down ( he *has* done some amazing work), but, really, Scrolling? I just think it’s interesting that he keys in on the viewpoint, or the perspective, of the game rather than a particular subject matter usually associated with FPS to RTS video game aisles. Maybe it’s because he’s a director (he focuses in on angles) or it’s because he’s a writer (avoiding the obvious remark – haiku-ing it too, for that matter), but, regardless, this man is cool. Watch Mallrats and tell me that I’m wrong. Yeah, that’s right. I went for Mallrats.

Read the article here.

[via Kotaku]

I actually have a new post...

So, I do actually have a new post today, but because I drafted it a couple of days ago (just the first link though) Blogger treated it as a post from the day that I started the draft. So, well, that's a cheap way of just blogging every day. Isn't it? Just start a new draft each day with one character in it (for funsies) and then let it sit for a month or however long and then go back and post "every day" just in time for a job interview or something else nefarious.

I wouldn't abuse the system like that though. Smacks of dishonesty. Nasty bit, Dishonesty.

So, read the NEW POST HERE.

Thanks!

Random Link Attack!

The links, boss! They are attacking! Run - save yourself!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

links
-Hunter S. Thompson video clips from YouTube sorted by popularity. If you just search for “hunter thompson” you get a clip of an “Imaginary Motorcycle”. Blech. In Hunter’s world that bike would have real *and* induced *and* ridden by a Hell’s Angel. BHAM!

-Muscle and bone from an inkjet printer? What can you get from the dot-matrix version? Lego bones? Sweet.

-Geographic location of family names from the 1920, 1880 and 1840 censuses. I only found three families with my last name in 1920: one in Wisconsin, one in Michigan and one in New Jersey. Found the alternate, possibly older spelling in Minnesota in 1880, but nothing in 1840. This link also has average life expectancy for your last name, Civil War veterans (included which side they fought on), last name meanings and just tons of cool stuff about your last name.
[via Digg]

-Public Shaming of Prostitutes Misfires in China

-Cover an eastern European country in a tent so that they can pretend it’s summer… Yeah, I used to do something similar with my couch cushion fort, and it worked too, so why can’t it work for Kazakhstan?

Why Can't the Links Stop?!

Links

Do you feel like your Ford Expedition's ability to destroy the environment is being cheapened, wuss-ified even, by the plethora of crossovers diluting the SUV gene pool? Well, there's a company that wants to help. MATTRACKS (yes, of course they spell their name in all caps) wants to enhance your muscle, not with drugs or two guys named Guido and Nunzio, but with treads. Tank treads. On your existing SUV. Stop lights, turn signals, hell, even ROADS are optional now. Your militia will be proud of you.

[via Gizmodo]


Evel Knevel is suing Kayne West over Kayne’s use of his likeness in his video for “Touch the Sky”.

[via The Smoking Gun]


Vanity License Plates Gone Naughty, Word
“STFU-PLS” license plates issued in Virginia until State realizes that they made a bit of a SNAFU by letting one of the most popular web acronyms slip through their fingers and onto the public roadways. The proudly defiant owner of the plates makes an interesting case for keeping the plate that is so elaborate it sounds like something I would have made up in seventh grade. It's just too elaborate to be true. Go read it for yourself and tell me what you think.

[via The Smoking Gun]

Wii Component Cables - Update 1

I got my Nintendo brand Wii component cables yesterday and they pissed me off for a bit. They pissed me off because I'd let a horizontal positioning/size error run amok on my TV since it birthed its way through my door. I rectified the situation with prejudice and service code-fu. The situation is fixed and working properly (I think), but the changes are... interesting.

First thing I noticed is how jaggie some stuff is now. I don't know what's going on with that, but I definitely see more jaggies. I think they were maybe there before, but my TV was glossing them over with the composite Vaseline lens. I took some pictures of the two sets, and I'll post them later for you all to look at.

I played some Wii Sports with the new cables and enjoyed the extra definition and color pallet, but wasn't as impressed as I'd told myself I would be. Wii Sports looked more color rich, but less next-gen.

Then I put Zelda: Twilight Princess in and everything changed. The trees! My god, man, the trees! Look at them! They're amazing! At that second I realized that my lifelong goal was to be an arborist. No, it was to be a writer of some kind. Focus. I'm allergic to trees, which, in a fashion, is maybe why I like to write: printing my stuff out on paper helps KILL trees. Or... uhmm... The Internet prints out my blog and keeps the hardcopy in a vault somewhere, right? Yeah? I thought so. Thanks, man.

G'nite!

[Update 1: My service code-fu is weak. I have shamed my ancestors by attempting to fix my tv by myself, so I called for my four-year-service-plan posse to back me up. We don't talk turkey until Monday though, so I'm stuck with the jaggies 'til then. After first I thought I'd fixed the problem (even though the jaggies remained), but straight vertical lines are no longer straight (though the *other* issues have been corrected). I tried messing with some other stuff, and I think I made it better, but it's just about impossible for me to get it correct. Argh. I hope this Service Company that Best Buy is pawning me off on doesn't suck. *fingers crossed*.]

Link Party

Come on, Links! Jump in the pool - it's filled with Jell-o!

Links
-Homemade rollercoaster with 360 loop! Video after the jump.

-2006-2007 Ipod Buyer’s Guide (by ilounge.com)

-Add a 20 foot jet of flame to your car’s exhaust for $130.

-Add a killer robot with a BFG to your militia style compound – Priceless.

-Playlist generator for iTunes. Soundflavor. Nice name, eh? Yeah, I *might* download it, but I'm probably not going to. Add-ons aren't cool because they just take up more memory for the main computer beat. Number one rule? Do not slow the beat down. If you slow down, the BFGD (Big Fat Guy with a Drum) will get you.

-The English shouting match that they call “Questions to The Prime Minister” (which take place every Wednesday) is the political equivalent of competing in a championship heavyweight boxing match while trying to get the referee, in front of his parents, to admit that he’s been having biblical dalliances with plastic garden gnomes for the past nine years. It is hilarious. Oh, and name calling is positively encouraged – bonus points if you make your opponent cry. Absolutely hilarious. If you’ve never watched government in action, this is *the* ticket to paradise. Shown LIVE Wednesday mornings at 7am ET on C-SPAN2 then re-shown Sunday nights at 9pm ET on C-SPAN. CHECK IT OUT.

Wii Components Cables Shipped

My cables have shipped from Nintendo. They went out with a batch that left Seattle at 7:44pm on Saturday. My buddy Kris ordered cables the same night as I did and he had the time that they left memorized. He doesn't even have HD! I'm dying over here!

They're gonna come Tuesday at the outside. Monday if I don't accidentally run over any furry woodland creatures while I'm riding in my giant robotic rolling pin... Yeah, I know. Giant robotic rolling pin. I get teased enough about it. It was the last giant robot they had, I didn't even realize it was a rolling pin until I'd had it for like six weeks and by then the dealership that I'd bought it from had left town and, on top of all that, I like to see how many monster trucks I can roll over in one day. My record is six. They're becoming a rare breed, those tasty little morsels. We need to make a big, open field and pen all of the monster trucks in (garishly painted and otherwise) so they can live out the rest of their short lives being crushed by my giant rolling pin in an open field. I'll sell you guys special promotional videos at cost.

Congratulations, you just got in on the ground floor.

Wii Component Cables Shipped - Seriously?

It happened. Seriously.

Hello NEIL,

Thank you for shopping with Nintendo! We wanted to let you know that your order is in the final stages of processing.

PLEASE NOTE: Your tracking information will be available when the carrier (UPS, FedEx, Purolator, etc.) has received and scanned the package into their system. Due to a high demand, this may take up to 24 hours.

To track the status of your order, please visit your My Nintendo account (http://www.nintendo.com/cpp/login/login.do).

To view Nintendo's Return Policy or get answers to other order and shipping questions, please visit http://www.nintendo.com/consumer/orders.jsp.

Thanks again for your order!

Sincerely,

Nintendo of America Inc.
Consumer Service Department

Really, I was all desperation and angst. I was shuffling between $150 eBay cables, paperclips and I even ONCE contemplated the unthinkable. The abyss stared back.

Shudder.

Now I just have to wait patiently for my 2-3 delivery. The tracking number isn't working right now, but that's probably because I just got the notification in my email of the shipment about four hours ago. I - WAIT A SECOND!

Is this all my fault? Did I do this? Not through force of infrequent blogging, but did I believe hard enough in The Fat Guy with a Drum that he came to life and beat the poor fanboys that sleep under the floorboards of Nintendo factories worldwide into getting me my cables a couple weeks early? Oh my god... what have I done? What have I DONE?!

Okay, now I feel guilty. I wasn't serious about The Fat Guy with a Drum! Oh man... The Ninty employees are gonna gang up on me now and hire Mario "The Hitman" to rub me out just like another goomba. Ouch. 100 points for my head doesn't sound like a fair price. I just hope he doesn't use the plunger - especially not in the face.

Wii Delay or Wii Sports Tennis

The component cables that I ordered from Nintendo last night show up as "backordered" in my receipt on their website. What the hell? I thought that I read the fine print that said, "As of Wednesday, November 29, 2006, we will be resuming shipments of all back orders for the Wii Component Video Cable." Wait a second! They say they're "resuming shipments"... they don't say anything about how fast they're doing it!

I read somewhere in Kotaku (found it!) that Nintendo is shipping out about 3K+ cables. That doesn't sound like enough. Bring the fat guy with the drum back in and let's make some cables, people! Cake at the end - this time I promise!

++

Wii Sports Tennis gives me neither Justice nor Peace. NWA would have sung about this game if it had been around during the large clock boom of the 80's. I'm not saying this game will take IT to you, but it will. It is from Compton. I only mildly do not suck at it. I'm at 559 right now, which is slightly under the 1k pro benchmark that the game indicates. It doesn't help that the graph goes all the way up to 2k. Maybe higher.

Fitness Age
11/27/06: 36
11/30/06: 44

Wii Component Cables Shipping

Cables are shipping from Nintendo now after a brief hiatus where the vile red type said something about not shipping until December 20th. Yeah, that wasn't a pretty picture. Seriously though, what did they do to pump out all those cables? Did they have every Nintendo employee call up their families and tell them to come in for a "Wii Picnic" or something? The families get there and there's nothing but shackles, a fat guy with a huge drum, and miles of cable. Oh, and I bet the fat guy ate the last piece of cake too. It's easy to blame the fat guy with the drum, he's kind of a bastard.

So, after running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I finally just put the money down to order the cables through Nintendo. If I get some of that fat guy's cake too, that would be awesome.

Wii Thanksgiving

I brought the Wii with me on Thanksgiving. Or maybe I should say that the Wii brought me. It was a hit.

How many rounds of boxing did my brother-in-law and cousin-in-law eventually insist on playing against one another? Best of 3? Try best of seven.

In the first two fights they managed to keep their shirts on. Some wild exertions, but no real sweat or lethargy. They were still fresh and eager for more. I don't know what kind of issues they were resolving through the conflict, but you could see it in each of their eyes: there was no going back, it was time to be an animal.

Who took off their shirt or sweater first is a question of history, all I can provide you though is a tale of two titans, pugilistic, ham-fisted warriors, who could not breathe until the other man lay lifeless at his feet. It was epic. Neither could lift his arms after, the weight of the sweat and the meat was too much.

Everyone was laughing at the spectacle of the fight, and the line grew too. I don't know if it actually held up Turkey Time, but the cook was watching the games for awhile. Everyone laid in to the Wii with their hands, fists or rackets. More than one person said that they'd buy one after they heard how low the price was. Everyone said they couldn't believe the controls until they actually used it; "amazing" was the most frequent word. It was a lot of fun, it was a good time with family.


Happy Holiday

Twilight Princess - Fishing for a Cat

I got my Wii.

I was stuck on this one bit in ZTP (Zelda: Twilight Princess) where you have to fish for a cat, but then I saw this video. Everything became marvelously clear. Which is to say: the strategy guide that my brother got me sucks. It gave no indication of when/how to accurately pull up the fishing rod. I was going really slow, going way too fast, going at the wrong time... the strategy guide just plain sucked, but it looks good otherwise. *shrug*

More later when I exactly suck myself away for the Wii.

Quick Thoughts
-So far the Wii is brilliant in every regard. I have problems finding problems with it because I like to think that I went in with realistic expectations about the Wii, so I'm actually very happy because I expected less. I *hoped* for this, but I didn't expect it.
-The Wii's controllers are shakily ultra-precise and you can really immerse yourself in the experience of a game once you get to know the controls. For example, Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz's party game called Monkey Target is my favorite mini-game right now, but it's controllers are hard to figure and hard to master. The video demonstrations that they give you are great, but, if you've never played another of the earlier Monkey Target mini-games, then you are screwed. It's hard to know when to do what, but you figure it out.

Speaking of, I gotta go figure out some more Zelda: Twilight Princess.

The Robotic Hymn of Sony Doom

I looked over these links and article summaries that I'm about to let you all into, and then I realized something... I'm a Sony hater. I think it's mostly because they dashed my heart on a rock of salt when the pricing information came down and lit a match to the whole damn thing when they announced availability. Oh, wait, you don't know? Oh my god. You have to read this hate rant then, HILARIOUS to anyone. Anyone.

PS3 shipments are being cut IN HALF from what they stated in September. Anyone who wants a PS3 can just go get a hot dog from their local gas station and then put it on a string and play with that until next year. Of course the hot dog doesn’t have HDMI and it doesn't support 1080p either, but it *is* made out of questionable bits of things and it's available everywhere *gas* is sold. Hmmmm… hot dog or maybe a Wii + 360 combo? Hmmm…

It's a given that all of the launch day PS3's will sell-out everywhere. Not necessarily because everyone wants one, but because some people actually want one and everyone knows that they can make a quick dollar by selling one on eBay. That may seem cynical, but not after you find out about the sales numbers that rolled in from the Japanese release of the PS3. By the numbers:
- Total PS3 units sold: 81,639
- Total PS3 games sold: 66,684.
That means that 14,955, or almost 20%, of the PS3's sold did not go home with A GAME. How the hell are you going to feast on some 1080p glory without A GAME? You're not! Not at all! No chance! ZERO.

If you do want a PS3, you'll also want a HDTV to play it on and CompUSA is determined to thrust your squalling soul straight into The Future. If you want to buy a PS3 from CompUSA, you'll have to also purchase a Sony HDTV that is 40" or larger. This bizarro world scenario has landed on our terra firma and means that at CompUSA you are looking at a minimum PS3 purchase of $2300. That doesn't include games, but it probably does include partial burial services. I say partial because I imagine that with so many people dying of sticker shock, CompUSA will just have to toss the bodies out the back door and let them rot near the dumpsters until the rioting stops. How many lives must be lost, CompUSA? How manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

As Grr of Invader Zim fame would say, "doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom."


Find out if you local Toys'R'Us is doing a midnight sale for the Wii.


PS. Yes, the title of this post references the Robotic Hymn of Doom by Danger Doom. The Mouse and the Mask is a great CD - buy it.

Pre-Order - Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz

Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz just sounds like a great bargin to me. You get 100 main puzzles and then 50 mini-games, which equals replay value. I pre-ordered it.

IGN has a great review of the game, which I'm not just linking to because they gave it a [decent] review @ 84% either. Sure, I'd like to see something in the 90+ range, but not every game is Zelda. Sometimes you have to play with other people too.

SMBBB's official website lists some interesting looking mini-games, namely Paper Sumo Fighter, but I know that there are more than the eight games they list on the site. IGN has a mini-preview of the Asteroid Crash mini-game, which looks better than most.

Having played previous Monkey Ball iterations though, I feel pretty smug about the whole decision.

Super Sunday - I Got a Wii Pre-Order

I got a Wii pre-order today at Toys"R"Us at about 10:30am. Kotaku announced the pre-order last night, but I don't know how many people were paying attention because I got the last pre-order after the store had been open for an hour and a half. Apparently there were a savy few who slavishly devote themselves to all things pre-order so there was a line this morning, but I got to skip the line entirely and go straight to the sweet center that is a Wii pre-order.

[Update 2, to clarify: I honestly had no idea there was any word of any more pre-orders anywhere, I just happen to be a fan of Kotaku so I tend to check it even on the weekends. At the bottom of the page was a post of the Wii pre-order for "tomorrow". Tomorrow, of course, was today. I called my local store ASAP, the guy told me that were was ONE pre-order left and he was required to give it to the next person who asked. I ran through the house grabbing all my necessary gear and then ran into the store as soon as I had my car most of the way parked. Two mothers with children were ahead of me at the Service Desk counter, but neither asked for a Wii pre-order. I slugged it out with the Customer Service working there:

Me: Wii pre-order!
Him: Uhmmm...
Me: Come on, you know you have one. *smiling generously*
Him: Yeah, I think I might... *looking underneath the counter for something to beat me with*
Me: Come on, you know you want to give it to me.
Him: Yeah, okay. Here ya go.
*** Neil has obtained Wii Pre-Order. Level up!***

end update 2.]

Have you ever been so happy that all you could do is swear? Yeah, I have a foul mouth when I'm happy, it was a surprise to me too. The cashier took it in good stride though primarily because he was a teenage boy - maybe I even taught him a few new words. Yep, that's me, teaching the community new methods of communication AND getting a pre-order for a Wii at the same time. Hells yes.

Woot!

[Update 1: I also pre-ordered Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz from TRS and I have a copy of Zelda reserved at Gamestop (thanks Chad!). I'll post more about everything later.]

Friday's Loss and PS3 vs Wii Unboxing

Okay, so everyone here is upset about the UW hockey Badgers 2-0 loss to the Denver Pioneers last night at the Kohl Center. The game took place on the night of the first snowfall of the year, so traffic and everyone was crazy - I think only about 2/3 of the people with tickets showed up because of the weather alone. Hell, I offered a friend a free ticket and he turned it down because of the rain/sleet/hail/blizzard we had going down. Who can blame him though? Winter has set in and nothing is beyond it's reach.

PS3 vs Wii news
Everyone's fav, Gizmodo, has posted a sick amount of unboxing photos of both the PS3 and the Wii. The interesting thing? The Wii comes with a game, Wii Sports, but the PS3 comes with Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby... why? Why does Sony's new game console come with a movie instead of a game? That's because they don't care about the games, they just want to wriggle the Blu-Ray worm down your throat (no tequila included). If this act of corporate bundling doesn't kill your belief in Sony (aka hope for the PS3), then you are wrong in the head. I suggest using bricks to wall yourself in with your Sony BMG posters, PSP UMD format, and complimentary Sony Root Kit.

Based on this package alone, I would drop all of my Sony stock ASAP (notice how their ticker is trending down? Goodnight, Gracie). Sony is going down in FLAMES.

Nintendo, on the opposite end of the spectrum, has it right and their stock reflects that. Nice comparison chart of the two.

No Toys for Joo!

So call this curious cat tapicoa colored or polka-dotted, but I had to call Toys'R Us Saturday night in Madison to see how the line was shuffling along. Turns out I was wrong; it was mostly an overnight chain gang. At 9:30pm CST, there was an openning for a Wii if I "got [there] within the next hour" chased close by "hurry."

Hurrying from Seattle? Nope, not gonna get back til about 2am on Monday, slugger. Count me out.

Sold out by 10:30pm CST with a overnight low of about 32 degrees. That's so cold my links almost fell off!

Links
-A Fraggle Rock movie is in the works – details after the jump.

-Wii article on Wired.com. I subscribe to this magazine - it rocks.

- New male contraceptive pill with no side effects.

-Joyriding isn’t a prank or a mischievous lark anymore, it’s a job now thanks to one fifteen year old boy who really wanted to play Bus Driver. He went so far as to follow the normal route at posted speeds, collect passengers and even require the mass transitinites to fork over the usual bus ride fare. One question: why? Why not go around town and pick up your friends and have a moveable [underage] party instead? This kid is way too resonpsible for his own good. I hope they lock him up forEVER! Sicko.

Seattle, As Told By My Wife

As promised, ProjectNCK's first guest blogger (my wife) tells of our weekend in the Pacific Northwest...



THURSDAY
After Sean picked us up at the SeaTac airport, our first stop was the Google offices in Kirkland. Sean gave us a tour of his office there. I signed a pretty lengthy non-disclosure agreement before we looked around the offices, so I’m probably not supposed to tell anyone this, but Neil and I beat Sean at foosball there. The Google offices just rock. Very awesome working environment. If Google offers you a job, take it.

Sean dropped us off at his apartment and returned to Google for the rest of the workday. Neil and I walked through downtown Kirkland and to Lake Washington and wandered around the waterfront for a few hours. We saw some really spiffy model homes (fireplaces built into the walls on the front porch!)… “How much do you think that one is? $700,000?” “Wow, no, that’s gotta be $1,000,000” (turned out to be $2,950,000).

We went out for pizza then returned to Sean’s.

FRIDAY
Sean took the day off work. Neil and I were really pumped to find that OPH is in Kirkland! So after a tasty breakfast, we took the bus down to the monorail station (amid plenty of quotes from the Simpsons episode where Springfield gets a monorail), where we discovered the monorail was not in service. So we walked through Belltown and went to the Sci Fi Museum. The original pencil art (1905) from War of the Worlds was awesome; the cultural analysis of the Jetsons was interesting. I’m glad that Sean pointed out the highlight of the museum to me. Frankly, I was surprised to find so much interesting stuff there, but I guess I’m geek enough for it. We then went to the Experience Music Project . We checked out the Jimi Hendrix exhibit (fascinating stuff, really thorough history) and the guitar gallery. I had a bit of a headache and was eager to leave the EMP, so we weren’t able to check out the Double Take exhibit, which looked interesting.

From there we headed over to the Space Needle, which gives you a great view of the city.

We found some above-average burritos for an early dinner, then returned to Sean’s for some Badger hockey (shape up, boys) and beer. After the sad game, we decided to go back to the Space Needle for the night-time view. It was definitely worth it to go back to get both views.

Went to Shorty’s for some beer and nachos, then back to Sean’s.


SATURDAY
Watched the Badger football game, had some Chinese for lunch, and headed down to Pike Place Market for the rest of the afternoon. The fish-tossing is just a small part of it – it’s a farmers’ market/street vendors/etc., and made for a nice afternoon. We followed it up with some more disappointing Badger hockey back at Sean’s.

Sean has a Roomba. He didn’t buy the more expensive version (the one that you can program to turn on at a specific time), but he did train Sturgis to turn it on, which Sturgis did twice on Saturday. Not to be outdone, Nox entertained us with some classic Nox in a box.


SUNDAY
We all slept in (ahh, glorious vacation! Sleeping in three days in a row!), then headed to a greasy spoon for a late breakfast before Sean took us back to the airport.

In all, a fantastic weekend. A great introduction to the Pacific Northwest – thanks again to Sean for showing us a great time.

Back from Seattle

My wife and I just got back from visiting our friend Sean in Seattle. We had a great time walking around and checking everything out. My wife said she may do a guest blog here for our trip, so look forward to that! So I don't really want to say anything more or I ruin the beautiful soufflé that will be her storytelling.

*exit stage left*

Links
-Hate to register for websites like The New York Times when all you want to do is just read one linked article and be done with it? I know I do! Well, there’s a website that caters to anonymous travelers. If you wanted, you could even try it out for the next link…

-If you’re a politician, why would you appear on the Colbert Report? Well, this article gives some good reasons on why/why not to show up for the big satire dance. I’d show up just for the Green Room food - I hear they actually fly in Alaskan Salmon fresh from Alaska daily... from the future! I don’t really like salmon, but I do like the future; it probably tastes like blueberries.

-Rollercoaster of DEATH, Rollercoaster Tycoon run by a sadist... call it what you will, imaginative life cycle ending or vicious rending of flesh, but, as long as only virtual souls perish, let the devil have his share! Off with their heads!

Monday? Where?

Hemingway is my favorite writer, but I'm Sandberg'ing it all over the place. No, not quite that bad, but you get the general picture (which is quite long-winded). Let's try to White Elephants this out, eh?

Links
-Kotaku has given me a writerly (yes, it's a word now) push in the right direction. I didn't ask for it. Things like this are best when found without effort - a good fortune cookie fortune.

-One of my wife’s favorite bands, the Old 97s, has a connection to disgraced Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL). Maybe she knows something too?

-What's a person who makes hats called? A milliner. It's not called Toshiba.


cheers

Banana Republic Goes Down - My Fault?

So I decided to check up on an order that I placed with Bananarepublic.com because I knew it would be shipping soon and, frankly, I was looking forward to the threads. Nothing too special, but the fit is very nice for me.

Anyway, so I check the website and it keeps giving me these SERVER TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE messages or, alternately, a BR page with "page not found" bannered out in small print where normally clothes appear. I call the customer service hotline, fumbling with the number the first time - Damn you large fingers! The second time I have no such excuse; I misspelled the BRSTYLE and nearly got a physic stripper who wanted to read my tarot. I relented though and decided to call back Banana.

I somehow managed to steer through the dovetailing process of choosing the right number in their automated (though the voice sounded like a lovely brunette). My number was four.

I get Customer Service Rep #1. He is nice, affable and doesn't throw in any references to the Peloponnesian War my may within the first 30 seconds of conversation. The witty exchange goes as follows:

Me: Why is your website down?
Him: I didn't even know it was down until just right now. Wow, lemme just...
Me: Are they just updating the store or something?
Him: What browser are you using?
Me: I've been hitting refresh... okay, wow, now it works. What the hell.
Him: Yeah, I think they were just doing some updates to the store.
Me: Well you, sir, are magic. Magic. You've just saved the site. Magic.
Him: *laughing insanely* Well, thank you very much.

Not a funny story so far? Well, guess what. After that little conversation I prowled the sale items quickly, but didn't find anything so I returned to the homepage to see what was different again (I'd looked earlier it was a picture of a woman lounging on a chaise. The theme was light, trendy green (peaish?) and soft brown. It was a nice site... until I hit refresh. Here is a text glimpse of what I saw:

Sorry, our store is temporarily closed.

BananaRepublic.com is currently unavailable due to a scheduled maintenance.

We're updating our site to create a better shopping experience for you.

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My advice? Grab some FREE SHIPPING! I do wonder what they've changed though...

How Many Birthdays Was That?

Obviously, you think it would just be one. One birthday a year. My friend, messieurs and madams, you get as many birthdays as you can wring out. I'm not much of a wringer though, mostly I just am. Mostly I am just full of cake! Seriously, lots of cakes and pies and delicacies that only the heroes in Valhalla could hope to imagine. You and I, we could never even hope of such ambrosia but for this note I've left behind to tell us this tale.

Can I tell you this too? The cake? It was sometimes made of ice cream or apple crème or angel food. I had the Neapolitan of birthdays. It was glamorous. Rock stars and aging actors should only be treated so kindly. Enough about the cake already! The rest of the day was pretty decent too.

Having moved completely around that whole messy situation of the two previous paragraphs, which we shall now refer to as The People's Exhibit A & B, respectively, let's just plain on just move on, shall we?

The following are links. They are tasty for the eyes, but should not be output and further eaten. The eyes and the brain are the only receptors getting something out of this one. Maybe the skin too, in case you get something galvanic going on, but, other than the eyes, the brain (which I suppose includes most of the central nervous system too), the skin and the heart (yeah, I threw the heart in there too, wanna make something out of it?), you will not get anything out of these funny little links.

Links
- Scientists teleport matter about 18 inches to the left; pundits plead for the ambi-transporter that could also move atoms 18 inches to the right.

- If you’re a sweaty, stanky Japanese salaryman and you’re in a rush to get to your salary, stop by this place and enjoy your twirling way through a human car wash. Please go. This is a subtle hint. Okay, not subtle, but I didn’t have any extra bars of soap lying around that I could put in your mailbox. I'll do it later just for laughs, but, for right now, no soap. Sam's was closed; I'll bring you a pallet tomorrow via mailbox. Yes, all at once. If they have a sale on mailboxes at Sam's, I'll bring you a flyer. Maybe.

- French clothier Jean Paul Gaultier replaced one of his size 0 runway models with a size 20 woman. Some more info about Jean Paul Gaultier for those of you who care.

Birthday!

It’s my birthday today! WOOT! I’d really like to more articulate about this immaculate event and ruminate on our meta-physical existence or solar wind... Something *BIG* like that. Rest assured, the conversation would have been intellectually curious and satisfying. You would come back for more sweet, sweet nectar. Or maybe you’d just come back for some interesting links? Yes? Maybe?

Well, bad news, hombre. I don’t care about *your* links, I care about *my* links and my links are all about stuff for me. I’m not saying you have to buy anything for me, that is ludicrous. If you think I am trying to lay the guilt on even thicker, I assure you that I am not. I just want to share some funny links like usual.

Let the festivities commence!
-USB Hamster Wheel
-Make your own Mii character (Mine is in the upper-right of my website ATM; looks kinda like me too)
-Bartending robot
-Awesome LED lightbulbs (honestly, very nifty but pricey)
-Laserpods (Is it a plant or is it a laser? It’s both! Ruuuuunnnnnn)
-Screech in a porno? Seriously? That’s… that’s not right. Why would Zack put him up to something like that?
-Before & After Magazine It’s pretty amazing design stuff with How To's. Check it out. Free PDF downloads (some are pay).

Exhale Spam, Breathe in Links

Ok, let's just get some links out of our systems today, okay? It's not quite yoga, but I'm pretty sure that it's better for you. Yep, gotta flush the ol' link system or you'll get lupus. Yeah, true story. A righteous dude told me that once before.

Links
- Apparently Chris Parnell and Finesse Mitchell are off the SNL island. Maya Rudolph and Darrell Hammond may be gone too.
- Further proof that the PS3 will go the way of the Neo-Geo - games will cost about $75-85 bucks.
- So cigarettes are hard to quit, right? Well, guess what? Bonus Round! People who smoke menthol cigarettes are 15% more likely NOT to quit smoking. There's actually some nifty science behind the entire article, worth a read.

For the record, the Champ Car Grand Prix at Road America last weekend was a blast. Sean and I had a great time both days (and his sister, Jen, even joined us on Sunday for the big showdown). Many brats were eaten. Your choices of weather included rainy or sunny/windy/cold. I wore five layers (undershirt, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweater and windbreaker) and I still would have been cold if not for the scanner headset that Sean let me use (these are essential for Race Day). Hopefully Sean will post some pictures of the event. If he doesn't, I'll paint you a portrait of the even so vivid that you really wish Sean would just post some pictures on his blog instead. I'm talking way beyond stick figures here, people. I'm talking possible charcoal cave paintings with a hint of a third dimension. No color though, I’m an artist.

More sarcasm to follow.

Bad Blogger, Bad!

Yeah, wow, one week away after so few posts already in the can? That looks awful to me, but I can explain, Lucy! I can explain it all. It happened like this... It was a dark and stormy night of much to do about nothing when, suddenly like through the slurry night, I staggered upon these all consuming links:

- Pong wristwatch (homemade)
- Sony has a train wreck for a keynote at the Toyko Game Show
- But, not about to be undone, The Press pico-chat on their DS Lites before the event. Kind of funny that they were using a Nintendo mobile instead of a Sony one, eh?
- Willie Nelson was busted for drug possession, here’s what he and his four buddies had on the tour bus. (PICTURE)

I'm going to go easy on you now and just back away slowly. I'll talk to you again soon, just, please, keep the restraining orders at a minimum - I'm actually a nice guy once you get to know me. I have proof!

Stick It to Me Tuesday

One step closer to Champ Car racing @ Road America this weekend!

And now for some dreadful news...
Shark found walking on its fins (video link). I thought I was supposed to be afraid of robots, but now I have to worry about sharks walking up to me in some dark alley and making me empty out my wallet then beating me savagely until I say, “Sharks are the coolest, humans suck!” Gez, life is getting tougher every day. At least robots are capable of logic, but sharks? When was the last time you considered sitting down and playing Jaws in a friendly game of chess? Never? No kidding! If he loses, he’s liable to make a light meal of your superior, chess brain. All praise our new shark masters!

And now for some happy news...
OLEDs are the future; they are the next plastics. Apparently they've figured out how to make two-way OLED displays that will show an image and act as a solar panel... so, in the future, your TV will require less power (if any) and run off of the sun's warm, happy rays. Until that day, tree huggers will have to stare at the sun to get their bio-fueled fun, so remember to wear UV protectin' sunglasses and carry around a camera obscura for those long, after work boob tube sessions. Imagine a world without The View. Sounds nice, right? Think about it, we'll talk later.

-neil

Link Day

Links
-While you’ve often heard of the crazy vending machines that exist in Japan, you’ve never seen them. Well, now you can! Photoman lives in Japan and has traveled extensively in search of these miracles of automated, self-help wonder! Seriously, this crap is fascinating to me. Why? Because they’re fast, convenient and just plain odd. They even have the creepy “used school girl” underwear vending machine that most people thought was just an urban legend. Well, guess what, when I happen to mention that something exists, even if I’m at a cocktail party and have drinks in both hands, I assure you that I am a reliable source of weird information. Believe it! I’m like Nostradamus that way… except my cult following is relegated to stuffed animals and my mom. Hi mom!

-President Bush loves Sharpie markers and gives them out as presents to “important aides” – Who do I contact about getting my wife a White House emblazoned marker pen? Do I have to go straight to my red, hotline phone or should I just check eBay. I’ll look into this and let you know.

-IGN got another hands-on taste of the new Zelda (more of the same since E3, but still, some more refinement coming in every day), and they said Zelda “is poised to be the best entry into the lucrative franchise yet.” DAMN! I will definitely preorder this game.

-Ok, Gizmodo tipped me off to an unnatural bit of architectural/interior design: Red Bull’s London HQ - huge photo spread.

-Apple still has refurbished stock of the previous generation to get out of the door though and they are selling them at some pretty hefty discounts:
60 gb video Ipod - $229 ($120 off)
30 gb video Ipod - $179 ($70 off)
2 gb Nano - $99 ($50 off)

-Dog The Bounty Hunter (of TV show fame) is in jail in Mexico for getting his man. The Smoking Gun has the details and it's interesting stuff - who knew he was the father of 12? Not me, but, honestly, good for him. TSG also says that Dog is 50+ years old, which just scares the crap out of me. Imagine that you're being chased down by this dude who looks like he just jumped off the set of an 80's hair metal video and then you realize that not only is he not a member of Twisted Sister, but he gets a senior discount at select locations... Yeah, you've just been busted by Grandpa. Good luck living that one down.

Early Saturday

Damn, damn, damn. Ok, Nintendo Fanboy is reporting it - the Wii will be region locked. Apparently the VP that I mentioned in the comments of an earlier post was drunk and didn't know what she was saying. I don't know what she was drinking, but the video that Nintendo Fanboy links to of her seems... well, I feel hung over just watching it. Wow, seriously, does anyone have a beer? I could use one, hair of the dog and all. No golden retrievers please though, they probably would just lick my face and what I need now is alcohol. Wow, people, let's pay attention here. Focus, team. Focus is key.

Ready for the Weekend

One of the *big* things that I realize that I forgot to post about the Wii that I think is awesome: Widescreen support on all first party titles. The Wii won't do any fancy 720p/1080p business, but it will do 480p. That should make it easier to read text and stuff, but I'm more pumped about the widescreen than anything. Down with 4:3!

The new Zelda game looks *A-M-A-Z-I-N-G*. I saw a video demo of the game, and it is righteous.

I'm off to go pick the wife up from work soon, so here are some fun links to get you through:

Links
- I always wanted a classy version of the TV from Pee Wee’s Playhouse (with a slight Scandinavian flare), and now someone’s made it. They also have a TV / toy fire engine combo going on for them... pretty cool if the fire engine is remote controlled and comes with little animatronic fire men, but otherwise not so cool. Funny, yes. Cool, no.

- A One-legged robot that jumps brought to you by Toyota (this is hilarious, right?) Well, guess what... it's even funnier: the entire robot is just ONE LEG.
"Next up in the One-Legged Butt Kicking Competition: Toyota."
I can see the protest groups forming now with placards that read, "Don't let a machine kick your butt!" T-shirts and political parties will follow.

-Pirate ship themed tree house for $20k. This may be an incredibly insane item, but I'd come over and hang out at your place if you had one... especially if you get the optional Fireman's pole - the Ghostbusters couldn't resist the pole, and I can't either. Don't bother with the optional cannon though, something tells me these wussies won't give you a working one, which really begs the questions: how am I going to loot and blunder without a big friggin' gun? Eye patches? Probably not.

So, the official Nintendo Wii channel is up and running now, which is very nice. What’s not so nice is the price and release date for the Wii: $249.99 on November 19^th. Boy was I wrong. Does anyone else feel like they’ve been kicked in the nuts by that price? The Big N came out awhile ago and said that the system would be under $250, but the fact that they then made it one cent less just reeks of corporate altruism. I understand that $249.99 < $250, but, after numerous reports came out saying that the Wii was going to be around $150 - $170, I feel kind of let down. Don’t even get me started on the analyst reports that said that Nintendo could sell the thing for $170 (because of the increase in its stock due to fanboy support of the new console) or I may start to cry.

Good new things to come out of Nintendo Wii US launch details:
- Wii will be region-free (1st party titles guaranteed)
- Wii Sports included ($50 value)
- Wii Channels seem nifty
- Expert Mode on Metroid Prime: Corruption is supposed to be the best interface for a FPS outside of a PC according to IGN

Bad new things to come out of Nintendo Wii US launch details:
- Price: $249
- Launch Date: November 19^th US launch (two days after the PS3 launches)
- One controller included
- Complete (Wiimote + Nunchuck) controllers are $60
- Only color available at launch: White (has Steve Jobs taken over?)
- Metroid Prime: Corruption has been delayed until early 2007

I feel better knowing that the XBOX 360 controllers cost $50 a piece and aren’t nearly as tech heavy as the Wii controllers, but, still, $60 for a controller? Ouch! Now you will all know how much I value your friendship by how deep the line is to play a game.
"Back behind the velvet rope, you!" *whip crack*
"Back, back I say!"
*whip crack*

The launch date does have a nice silver lining for Nintendo though: only 400k units of the PS3 will ship to the US, but 1 million units of the Wii will be here two days later. The PS3 shortage will be the Wii’s gain, but the fanboy in me wants it now! You remember those commercial for Life cereal back in the day? Where they showed a grown-up eating the cereal saying how good it was for you, then a kid version of the adult would pop into place (in the adult’s now baggy clothing and all) and say how much they loved the brown sugar taste... yeah, I’m a split personality on the entire Wii issue at the moment. I'm still going to pre-order, but I feel like a little love was lost in the course of one day. That hurts, Ninty. That hurts on the inside. *sniff*

-neil

Post Number Two: The Moment of Truth

What's up with the revenge killings of stingrays? Steve Irwin's death was tragic, but the man wrestled with life on the toothy, mean edge. I don't think it's the stingrays fault; it's commonly known that stingrays only get aggressive when they feel threatened and if Steve Irwin would have come over to my apartment, innocuously hid behind the papasan for awhile before lunging at me, I would have freaked out and knocked him out cold with one of my many heavy Literature books. Or maybe the stingray just saw the South Park episode where Irwin puts his thumb up animal's butts and, because it wasn't due for a prostate exam for a good twenty or so years, decided that it wasn't going to go down like that. I've been in the wild with manta rays and I've even touched one (they are velvety smooth on top - think watery silk), and I got nothing against them.

In times like this, it's helpful to turn to Yoda and ask, "What would Yoda do?" He'd probably steal my Twix and run off laughing into the swamp, but if that bastard thinks he can get away with that crap one more time then he's going to be awfully surprised when my droidekas (I made them out of roombas - they weren't that deadly until I added the lasers) make green slurry out of his ears. Yoda Soup, anyone?


Important bits:
- The US launch date and price for the Nintendo Wii are expected to be announced tomorrow at 8am ET in NYC. I am positively quivering with antici... pation!
--- Anticipated launch date is October 2nd (the day before my birthday!)
--- Anticipated price is $150 - $170


Cool gadgets:
- 3D Displays To Make Their Way To Portable Devices?


Interesting stuff:
- Ice Rocks: pre-packaged purity
- French Youth Take Up British-Style Binge Drinking
Really, so what? French teenagers are getting hammered more often instead of consistently getting a buzz on?

haiku
I see the decline
of the sidewalk café in
big letters today

Day One - All Quiet on the Western Front

Hey everybody! My name is Neil and my blog is about cool gadgets, funny stories and just having a good time. We can have fun with this, so let's stay positive. And we're walking, we're walking...

Ok, I'm just going to through out some of my favorite links right away so you can just go ahead and judge me. They are in no particular order.

my homepage, and, yes, I read it every time.
Penny Arcade

gadgets
Gizmodo
Engadget

video games
Joystiq
Nintendo Wii Fanboy
IGN

pc nerd stuff
Arstechnica

other
Sean's blog Seriously, this is all his fault. Blame him.

I really don't have much else to say right now, so I'm going to reward myself for this sweaty, sweaty work down in the "Internet" (a series of tubes, I say! TUBES!) by playing some Warcraft 3. I play DOTA (3.7 and DH), and it's been good to me. I recommend that you check it out immediately.

take it easy,
neil