Taser Shockwave

Yes, that's actually the introduction to the newest neuromuscular incapacitation device from your neighborhood pals at Taser. Really makes you want to go over there and borrow a cup of sugar, right?

Maybe what's even more frigthening than the actual video itself is the notion that that's the marketing department at Taser's idea of an appeal to their customer base: law enforcement. Really? Is that really the message that you want to send? If so, I'm more afraid of the police now than I was before. Yesh.

Check out the full video to see the Shockwave (a collection of regular Tasers connected to each other) do it's stun gun thing.

Review: Ram Restaraunt in Seattle SUCKS

I wrote a review of this awful place on Yelp. Go check it out.

Mario Galaxy Wii Mod

When you care enough to send the very best, you send me this. This Wii mod is being sold on behalf of Child's Play (Penny Arcade's charity) and it is clearly *the* bomb. It would be especially meaningful to me, at the moment, because my Wii won't read any of my discs. Yep, that's right, it won't read one of the fourteen discs in my Wii library. It is, to quote the bard, DEAD. The pictures of this Wii mod do not do it justice at all. You need to check out this link and travel over to Ebay to watch the video. The Wii makes Mario-esque sounds now and is just really, really impressive in every detail.



[Ebay via Gizmodo]

XKCD At The End Of The April Fool's Rainbow

For those of you searching the Web for your favorite Internet comic, XKCD, you might have come up empty handed. If you go to XKCD right now, you get the comic strip Questionable Content. If you go to Questionable Content, you get Dinosaur comics. And, if you go all the way to Dinosaur Comics, you finally get your dose of XKCD.

Check out the April 1st, 2008 XKCD here.

For a list of all of the Web's April 1st jokes, check out this Digg.

French Footballers Abstain From Wii

The perception of how sex prior to competition in sports effects performance of those athletes has been vigorously debated; it turns out that sex helps make players more aggressive, but hampers intellectual competition.

There is a new menace though. It's given black eyes to friends of the careless and damaged high-end electronics of the slippery-handed (causing some to go to some pretty impressive protective lengths). The threat is of course: the Wii. The Wii threat isn't limited to just TVs, it's now transcended into the realm of psychotic trophy wives, exotic sports cars and drugs. Yep, that's right, althletes now fear the Wii too.

The French football team's coach, Raymond Domenech, has banned his players from playing the Wii to avoid unncessary injuries. Seriously. No joke. Check the link.

Kotaku's Dissertation on Wii Fit

Wii Fit promises (release date: May 19) to be a novel way to get a bit of exercising done on your favorite console. This $100 accessory for the Wii (how they love their accessories) is a plastic board (300 lb limit) that you work out on. You do a lot of balancing type of exercises (yoga, etc.) and even push-ups. It's maybe not as much fun/exercise as a post-bar game of DDR, but then again hopefully you won't be falling down as much as you would trying frantically to pull off some insane teeny-bopper moves after consuming enough beer to qualify for German citizenship. I don't exactly picture a post-bar game of WiiFit either. Can you honestly tell me that you know people who want to go practice yoga after tying one on? I don't know any people like that, and you don't either.

Kotaku's Japan editor has written a lengthy article on the topic, so read up if you're considering this semi-expensive purchase.

No More Heroes Review

No More Heroes for the Wii was everything that I hoped it would be. Right off the bat: I give it a very solid 9 out of 10.

Graphics
The stylized graphics play to the comparative weakness of the Wii's graphical power by using blocky character models with detail and shadow added by the skin of whatever t-shirt or jacket you dress your character up in. It's future noir style is brilliant. The lighting in this game goes to Citizen Kane levels - it is simply artistic beyond all comprehension when you put it next to other video games.

Gameplay
The action is dialed up to maximum Smash TV volumes. The violence is comical with a hint of gameshow - when you kill an enemy, a slot machine wheel spins at the bottom of the screen (while coins erupt out of the mangled corpse of your enemy) and, if you're lucky, will stop on all 7's or Bells and start a burst of superhuman power with a battlecry like "Blueberry banana cheesecake!" The enemies and their blood are limitless. Bodily fluids come out so copiously that you'd think you'd accidentally stuffed a dozen live grenades into an elephant - there are, literally, times when the screen is whitewashed with blood. All of the actions required on the gamer's part to make things go fit the fast paced nature of the game very neatly. Button mashing "A" FTW!

Story
The story is not secondary to the game. It's been awhile since I've played a game and said "What?! No! OMG! Seriously?! WOW!" and tried to pull other people in to the room to watch the cut scenes unfold (the cut scenes could be linked together to form an award-winning Anime). The story really is that good. There is a LOT, LOT of swearing in this game, so be prepared - they didn't get the Mature rating for just the blood, folks. The sexual innuendos are also very liberally sprinkled. Definitely a Mature game, and, I thank Suda51 very deeply for that.

Little Extras
The little touches are nice: when your character gets a cellphone call, the dialog comes out of the speaker in the Wiimote, so you have to hold the Wiimote up to your ear to make everything out. There's also a bevy of clothing options for your character, which I usually hate, but the t-shirts in the game are so cool that I'd probably buy most of them to wear in real life if I could (and there are about 100 too).

If you haven't already given this game a chance, do so immediately. I rented it from Gamefly, and, after beating the game, I *still* bought it. That's how good it is. No More Heroes deserves a place on your mantle and in your video game library. 'Nuff said.

I Saw Dyson Naked Today - PDF Mistake

I think it's great how companies today put manuals online for their products. I can't tell you how many times that I've lost the manual for something and gone to the well that is the Web to find some information.

That said, there is a right way and wrong way to publish information to the Web. The wrong way has been clearly illustrated by those vacuum geniuses, Dyson. Check out the link: Dyson PDF Mistake.

Now, I don't know how many of you would really care about this error, but it doesn't look good (on many levels) to have a print-ready copy of a PDF with full bleeds and crop marks on your website for the average customer to run into. Sure, you could go to any printing house and make your own suave looking copy of the manual (in bulk, no one-offs for trimming) with that PDF, but that one "benefit" really outweighs how much of a turn-off this is. If I try to print that out from my home computer, the information that I want will be reduced in size because of all of that extra bleed/trim. It would be an incredibly easy thing to correct. Ugly, just ugly carelessness. Tsk Tsk, Dyson.

Headphone Review - Ultimate Ears Super Fi 3

The earbuds that came with my iPod nano didn’t work for me. Despite being the newer variant (more silicone, less hard plastic), they were only comfortable for the first few days. They were only comfortable for that long because I hadn’t used earbuds in years and I simply did not want to spend any money on accessories. After several weeks of the earbuds constantly falling out of my ears, pumping out tinny sound and generally being unable to drown out the background noise in my apartment’s gym without me throwing the volume up all the way to Oh-My-God-Are-You-Deaf-Yet volumes, I'd had enough. I went and did some research on headphones and ended up purchasing the Ultimate Ears Super Fi 3.

The Super Fi 3 are essentially earplugs with speakers. Because they are earplugs first: you get better ambient noise canceling than larger headphones designed for the task, the noise canceling is passive, they are much smaller than the larger variety of over-the-ear noise canceling headphones so when you wear them you don't look like you're going as a cross-gender Princess Leia to an office work party. Once upon a time though, these types of aural pleasures were reserved strictly for performing musicians, but the price of these types of headphones has come down in recent years. To attest to their inside start, the Ultimte Ears company was actually the brainchild of a monitor engineer for Van Halen.

The Ultimate Ears Super Fi 3 retail for $99, but I got them for about $78 shipped from EarPhoneSolutions.com.

I picked them up for the following reasons:
- Headphone.com includes them in their Mobile Entry-fi package ($289), and I highly respect their opinion. I would have bought directly from them, but the extra five dollars in total cost… I got really cheap when it came time to submit my CC and I mitigated the damage to my conscience by purchasing from another small, specialized dealer (earphonesolutions.com).

- Headphone.com gave them a decent value rating.

- Cnet gave them a 7.7 rating (very good).

- Cnet hammered away on the comfort and quality seal of these canalphones, and comfort was very important to me.

- They came with five different types of in-ear adapters, so I was assured a quality fit somewhere in that spectrum.

After using them now, for probably about five hours a week (at least) for the past six months, I can say that I really do like them. They fit my budget and my requirements perfectly. I use them while doing housework, traveling on an airplane, or working out in the gym. An excellent "bang for the buck" purchase.

1880 Gentleman Pac-Man Unearthed

Kotaku, blessed are their robotic powerplants, put up a short excerpt and link to this awe-inspiring exhibition by the toy artist Doctor A. The main feature, as you can guess by the picture, is a wonderful, 1880's wind-up Pac-Man. It is truly beautiful in every detail.

Check it out for more jaw-dropping pictures of this mechanical marvel and other crafted lovelies that Tim Burton will have to make into feature films just to show off each flare of brilliance in more detail. Seriously though, can't you just see Tim Burton doing at least a short film for each one of those figures? I think the devil with the syringe alone could spawn a thousand plushies. I don't even want to think of how much even one of these pieces of art would cost though if they were on sale...

Doktor A’s work is being shown as part of the Spit & Polish toy show at Cardboard Spaceship in Santa Cruz, CA. The show runs through November 30th, 2007.

More pictures available on the Cardboard Spaceship website here. They even have an online store, check it out.

[via Kotaku]

What's Wrong with the Wii - Gamepro Rebuttal

Gampro has a great article up that lists some things that they would like to see changed on the Wii:

• GamePro: The continued low supply of the Wii makes you think that Nintendo is creating a "false shortage". Either way though, these supply issues should be solved by now.
  Rebuttal: While I agree that the Wii supply issues are annoying, I'm not cynical enough to say that Nintendo is creating a "false shortage" by purposely not producing enough consoles to meet demand. If anything, this shortage may actually encourage some people to look elsewhere for their gaming needs if they continually cannot get a Wii. The best bet is that the Wii is facing a similar situation in the US as the DS is in Japan; i.e., they're simply selling out immediately. I can't tell you how many times I see fevered postings on websites like Slick Deals that the Wii will be on sale at X webiste (!!! ZOMG!) and that people better move fast if they want to get one. Usually the Wii's are gone in a matter of minutes.


• GamePro: There isn't enough storage on the Wii (512mb) and there are no storage options available down the road. The Wii needs more storage.
  Rebuttal: The Wii is not a media center like the Xbox360 or PS3. If you want something like that, go pay the cash for it. The Wii is actually something of a backlash against this type of mentality. Nintendo felt that the consoles' focus on games was drifting away towards a more Living Room entertainment hub concept, so they created this simple little device that is fun to play games on (though they also takced on a news reader and a weather forecast feature and an Internet feature and... ok, that may not hold much water). I understand that some people (who purchase every available Virtual Console title) could run up against that 512 barrier, but, realistically, most people won't. It would be nice if Nintendo offered that option for some people, but right now that number is too much of a minority to get what they want.


• GamePro: The Wii was originally slated to have DVD playback, but that feature was removed to cut down on the cost of the Wii. Now that the Wii is out there, add the DVD playback feature as a download.
  Rebuttal: Okay, GamePro has me there. This feature is entirely a software issue that could be resolved with a pay download. This one really should be done. Even though I already have two DVD players, it would be nice to see this included if software is the only issue. I wouldn't use it, but I imagine some people would. If they made a Divx code or something available where I could stream media to the view... yeah, that would be nice though. I would almost never use it, but it would be nice. Pay download again please.


• GamePro: Nintendo should offer a rechargeable battery pack for the Wii. It's the environmentally conscious thing to do.
  Rebuttal: I agree on this one too. Not only is it the environmentally friendly thing to do, it would be the cost conscious thing to do: the Wiimote eats batteries. I have a set of rechargeables for my Wii, and I'm really happy that I have them.


• GamePro: Online gaming is essential. Microsoft didn't get it right the first time around, so Nintendo really needs to get their butt in gear.
  Rebuttal: I would throw a couple of swear words in to this one too: Where the ****ing **** is my ****ing online play?! It cannot be stressed enough how important online play is today. It adds replay value and games with online components sell better than those without. This is so important that my head is about to explode. Hell, I've been wanting to buy Mario Strikers Charged for awhile now just because it *has* online play. This is my biggest pet peeve.


• GamePro: There are too many crap-tacular titles out for the Wii. Bring back the Nintendo Seal of Approval and make it mean something by only letting quality games out to the masses.
  Rebuttal: Again, I completely agree with Gamepro. A lot of companies have just been porting PSP games to the Wii with absolutely no thought to graphics or gameplay. It's been incredibly frustrating to see so much shovelware produced for a console. I don't want to pre-order any games for the Wii (except for those made by Nintendo) because I'm afraid of how badly they're going to be screwed up. I wait for the reviews to come out and pray. A lot of the time I've been disappointed. Bringing back the seal of approval would be a very nice move.

Other than those issues, I really don't have anything else. The online play is the biggest one for me. I like the innovation that we're seeing from Nintendo with their accessories. The Wii Fit board looks great - check out a clip of it here. I have high hopes for it. The zapper seems gimicky, but the game that it comes with has been given great reviews so far, especially at the price point that it's going to be selling at.

Fingers crossed.

Wired Pumpkins

The folks over on the Wired Blog have thrown up a smorgasbord of pumpkin love for all of Geekdom to enjoy. Check it out.

I have no idea which one is my favorite, but right now I'm leaning towards the Cheshire Cat pumpkin. I think it's probably the clear lines (the WoW one is just too much for me) and the subject matter. Yeah, just a bunch of great pumpkins though.

[via Wired Blog]

Alien vs. Predator Sequel Coming 2007

Who would win in a fight: a Predator or an Alien?

It's one of those questions like, "Do I really exist?" or "Who is faster: The Flash or Superman?" that philosophers have been trying to answer since Predator was released in 1987 (Alien was released in 1979). All of the bent up frustration that fans of the two series felt though was supposed to be answered in the theatrical release of Alien vs Predator in 2004.

It should have been resolved in 2004, but, with a PG-13 rating, the only thing that was resolved in Alien vs Predator was the question of whether or not the fight would ever happen outside of fan fiction, graphic novels or video games. And a PG-13 movie doesn't jive with either of the two series gore-filled histories.

This fight is the gladiatorial match-up of two completely kick-butt pillars of the sci-fi horror/action community. It's also an excuse for one bad-ass, knock-down, drag-‘em-out movie that should end with gigantic fireballs coming out of your eyes - that's how thoroughly this movie should blow you away. Like I said though, the 2004 Alien vs Predator didn't meet these expectations. It was still good: it maintained the strong and intelligent female lead of the Alien series, it had an acceptable plot and good action, but, without the R rating's goodness, it felt empty. Like a doughnut that's healthy - it just doesn't work on a lot of levels.

That was then though, and this is now. There is a new Alien vs Predator movie coming out called Alien vs Predator: Requiem. The facts:

• Comes out on December 25, 2007. It could be direct to DVD, which would hurt a bit.


• It's directed by the Brothers Strause, which makes me nervous as hell because they have no movie-making experience. Yes, they are well known for some great music videos and commercials, and they do specialize in FX, but, still... no movie experience? Hell, it's possible that a director's eye more tuned in to the frantic moves and cuts of a music video will make a great addition to this storied series, but, still... no movie experience? It's the difference between writing poems and novels: the narrative length is hard to jump. This next item gives me a lot of hope though...


• The trailer looks great! Watch it here. Seriously, watch it. It's pretty damn good.

Wii - No More Heroes

No More Heroes is Star Wars for the Akira set.

You play as Travis Touchdown, an anime/wrestling obsessed American guy, who decides to rise to the top of the assassin food chain by capping off all of the other ranked professionals Lightsaber-style (technically his weapon of choice is Beam Katana, but that's the same thing to me). And, before you ask: Yes, of course there's an international governing body that determines rankings for assassins. Without one, well, there would just be a lot of murders, and that's just wrong.

No More Heroes is on the top of my To Buy list for the Wii. Screenshots of the game clearly show a drug-induced manga-art style, and the trailers bear out that the style is well executed. What's not to love?!

Here's what you need to know:

• It's a Suda51 project, which immediately flashes this title into a Snow Crash future with a Clockwork Orange twist of violence.


• Suda51's last project, Killer7, was an edgy, cel-shaded action marvel that was tailored for hardcore gamers.


• Ubisoft (trying to score some street cred after releasing a tumult of games that were very poorly ported to the Wii from other systems (double diss)) has agreed to publish the game in North America two months after it's Japanese release. Release date for North America: Feb. 2008.


• Type of Street Cred Ubisoft Hopes to Buy in form of two sound bites from IGN's article:
  - "...we expect the game to receive an 'M' for Mature rating." Ubisoft's Vice President of Marketing, Tony Key
  - "Suda 51 himself has in the past promised that No More Heroes would be just as violent as Manhunt 2." - IGN article. For the record, Manhunt 2 cannot be legally sold in the UK. Yeah, this game is gonna be ROUGH! ROUGH!

Anime and Rap

If you haven't already heard the hit single "Stronger" by Kanye West on the radio, then you don't listen to pop radio. If you haven't seen the video yet, then you're probably normal because no one really plays music videos anymore. I saw the video a week or so ago on MTV2 (during the day when no one was watching but me) and immediately realized that it was a beat apart, then I watched it again (because I thought it was good). What did I realize? The video is a live action recreation of parts of the famous Anime Akira.

For those of you who don't know Akira, it's a animated film from Japan that came over in 1989 set in a dystopian future that centers around the exploits of a teenage biker who develops strong psionic powers and the leader of the teenage biker gang who tries to reel him back from the brink. It was the first anime that I ever loved and it's credited with ushering in the flood of Anime in the early 1990's. To sum up: Akira is a big, big deal. It was completely visionary and still looks beautiful and artistic.

And what happened to Akira? Kayne puts himself into the movie as one of the characters and produces an electric video that is hard to stop watching. Of course, Kayne has some funky 80's sunglasses on, but that's only part of the reason that you should tune in.

Check it out here.

Tron's Reality - Welcome Visitor

Who doesn't love Tron? If you didn't grow up in the 80's, then I suppose I could understand, but all of you Gen Y's and Gen X's better get hip to this (not just because it predates the Matrix), but because it is live, in Technicolor and shiny.

I have no idea if this thing works like in the video or not, but I'm willing to suspend disbelief for now because this thing is just too cool for school. The neon edges, the crisp reality of early computer-generated art... it just makes me catch my nerd breath. I am mesmerized.

I really wish that the guy in the video had interacted with the display - touched it or something just so that we could see that it's really real, but the marketing side of it needs the buzz. Needs the "Is that real?" factor. Me? I just want to know where to enter my wife's credit card information. Oh, and can I Next Day Air this sucker?

Kevin Flynn and his digitized alter-ego have never felt so close.

[via product page]
[via Gizmodo]

Wiimote + Analog Stick Adapter

The friendly folks over at Cyber Gadget in Japan have come up with an interesting add-on for the Wiimote. I'm not saying I'm even going to buy one, but it just might me help form Wii-Voltron, so I'm considering it.

This plastic doodad changes the Wiimote D-pad into a more omni-directional, analog pad. It doesn't seem like an awful idea or anything, but I can't see it taking off at all. It might be a good idea for Nintendo to incorporate something like this into a future Wiimote redesign, but I don't want any extra plastic bits hanging off of controller any time soon.

Product Page [via Gizmodo]

Nessie Lives!

The Monster of Loch Ness lives - and so do I! Sadly there is no video footage floating around CNN to prove that I'm still kicking it, but the link has all of that and more for Nessie fans everywhere.

After watching that footage, described by CNN as "what Loch Ness Monster watchers say is among the finest footage ever taken of the elusive mythical creature", I hope you feel robbed. You feel robbed of your time and your eyesight. Not only does the video lack any clear depiction of Nessie devouring cars/people/livestock/Gozilla's breakfast/a good book, it also lacks any real glimpse of Animalia. I think I probably went blind at least twice (which clearly explains why I can see now - Blind x Blind = Sight) trying to see any discernible dorsal fin, giant flipper or anything besides WATER!

Still, some people are really hyped up about this, so I'll assume that they have access to a better copy of the video and a lot free time. Hope for prehistoric monsters all you want, I'm betting all my chips on robots. They are our future, after all.

Console Charts - Wii Win

God, why did you make me so punny? Why?

Epistemology and such aside, let's break out the bubbley, my Wii-loving friends! Check out that lovely chart, courtesy of our soon-to-be-mechanical overlords over at Kotaku, and let's start the par-tay!

The chart clearly shows the Wii in the lead in hardware sales, but what's even more important is the software sales for each console. That news is just as good, really. Yeah, no scary punchline, no drama even, Wii is ahead in the software category too for the current generation (PS3 and Xbox360 included). What's not so great though? These charts are only for the first four months of life.

The PS2 profile, it's two story house of sales figures on that chart, scare me a shave because it tells the world that it doesn't matter how you start, it's how you finish. PS2 started slow, but it ended first by a wide margin. Hell, it's still selling like hotcakes.

Have faith though, true believer. We will, oh, Wii will rock you.

[via Kotaku]

Cheers,
nck

Link Party

Links

-I came upon this watch in a post at Gizmodo and was instantly smitten. It's combination of mechanical and Swiss shivers my gadget-loving bones to the core.

It's gorgeous. It looks like it has pennies inside - doesn't it? The pennies, turned sideways, power this strange time bank vault tumbler of a display with the force of Honest Abe. (click on the picture for an extremely enlarged photo)


-The Atlas Rope Ascender... don't tell the Mystery Men, the campy version of Batman (starring one amazing actor: Adam West [as voiced by Adam West from Family Guy]), or other spandex wearing do-gooders with a penchant for accessories about this because I'm sure that they'll be pretty pissed off to know that they won't be receiving any royalties. (video)


-Gummy bear chandelier – it looks beautiful too! I don't know if ants would destroy it first or if I'd get hungry and lazy and starting picking the fruit off of this delicate prize within the first hour or so. It really is a masterful work. I bet Donald Trump has at least two of these. In his limo.


-Who needs one of those home vaults to hide in (in case a burglar smashes into your pad or your wife finds your porno collection) when you can just give the thief a seizure and watch the smoke pour out of his bubbling eye sockets. Gruesome image, but didn't he deserve it? No one touches your Han Solo figures but YOU, damnit! I love you, Han!


-Well, I'll be damned if my name isn't Segue Sam because I got another Star Wars item for you: R2D2 mailboxes are going to be rolled out and then promptly stolen. Or maybe the beep-filled bot will come to life, powered by your Victoria's Secret catalog and destroy us all. Never thought that humanity would be overthrown in that fashion, did ya?